forbidden to fall, but not to YOU

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Dear world,

may nagawa na naman akong kasalanan :(

this time, i thought i KNOW BETTER.. but I have no idea what my body is doing to me T_T

last mar 21, dumating si bu sa iloilo.. by surprise, of course :D then before we watched the hunger games, pumunta kami sa kanyang hotel room.. and of course, had an intimate time..

before we did it, sabi ko pa, mag-calculate muna ako because we didn't have any protection around..

so i calculated, and it seems that i only have 3-4 days til my next period.. so yeah, safe..

plus, cervical mucus had been sticky for the past few days, which signals that ovulation had already occured.. tas we know that the egg doesn't live for more than 24 hours.. so i had been safe for a few days, at least...

so i concluded that YES, it is safe...

so we did it..

i told him to withdraw, but he had to withdraw it earlier.. like he finished it off sa cr na lang para safer..

after he went to the CR, i stood up, start looking for my clothes and wore them. then the whole time, i was just standing na lang.. kasi according to doc r, standing up lessens the chance because of forces acting against gravity..

jusko :(

i wanna cry..

i've been in this situation before, i don't want to be in this again..

i practically had a normal cycle until the hormones started messing up..

Lord,

i know i have sinned..

i know my consequences..

i still want to pursue my medical education. i still want to become a doctor..

and at the same time, i also want to spend more time with rr, and have a family with him..

but not yet now,

siguro in the future, oo..

i know i should have known better..

i should know how to decide this time..

it's making me freak out as the day goes by..

the more i am alone, the more i freak out..

Lord,

if this is your will,

i hope you would also allow everyone around me to feel for me..

if this is positive, it would be hard, not only for me, but for everyone else around me too..

if i can't turn back time, then i hope i could make up for it..

Lord, i am so sorry :(


hello i'm twinklecloud! thanks for dropping by... have a nice day! June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 March 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 January 2012 March 2012 April 2012 October 2012 May 2013 last Thursday Night (err, Friday madaling araw) virginity restoration how can i be preggy? if i already had my menstruat... ang imong "kagat labi" look, MAKA-HORNY UG SAMOT!!... NMAT sure man ako na TACKY na un..yellow-white na stick... hindi mo na gani ovu..dry period.. sticky na white... diri na lang ko mag-yawyaw. XET! Dear Mom, hurt T_T algene bio 07 gagay ina inna jb jong july lyle mikko mon neil nes renz wilson yuri	Thursday, March 29, 2012 Dear world, may nagawa na naman akong kasalanan :( this time, i thought i KNOW BETTER.. but I have no idea what my body is doing to me T_T last mar 21, dumating si bu sa iloilo.. by surprise, of course :D then before we watched the hunger games, pumunta kami sa kanyang hotel room.. and of course, had an intimate time.. before we did it, sabi ko pa, mag-calculate muna ako because we didn't have any protection around.. so i calculated, and it seems that i only have 3-4 days til my next period.. so yeah, safe.. plus, cervical mucus had been sticky for the past few days, which signals that ovulation had already occured.. tas we know that the egg doesn't live for more than 24 hours.. so i had been safe for a few days, at least... so i concluded that YES, it is safe... so we did it.. i told him to withdraw, but he had to withdraw it earlier.. like he finished it off sa cr na lang para safer.. after he went to the CR, i stood up, start looking for my clothes and wore them. then the whole time, i was just standing na lang.. kasi according to doc r, standing up lessens the chance because of forces acting against gravity.. jusko :( i wanna cry.. i've been in this situation before, i don't want to be in this again.. i practically had a normal cycle until the hormones started messing up.. Lord, i know i have sinned.. i know my consequences.. i still want to pursue my medical education. i still want to become a doctor.. and at the same time, i also want to spend more time with rr, and have a family with him.. but not yet now, siguro in the future, oo.. i know i should have known better.. i should know how to decide this time.. it's making me freak out as the day goes by.. the more i am alone, the more i freak out.. Lord, if this is your will, i hope you would also allow everyone around me to feel for me.. if this is positive, it would be hard, not only for me, but for everyone else around me too.. if i can't turn back time, then i hope i could make up for it.. Lord, i am so sorry :( 7:03 PM ·